|Christian Dior Dress (cc flickr user unforth)|
So, what's a tg girl to do? Overcompensate, especially at first. Makeup tends to be caked on and often garish, and dress is often over-youthful and rather sexualized. This does not necessarily imply a sexual component to the costume, just the influence of mass media. This was certainly the case for me a few decades ago. But now I'm in my early 40s. I've been on hormones but only have little sub-A-cup breasts and no real hip/waist definition. And yet, even when I look at myself completely naked, I see the woman in me. I'm not really happy that I see male genitalia dangling down there or that my belly is sort of poochy, but it doesn't jar me as badly as it used to. I am much much more comfortable wearing women's clothing than men's, and I do still like dressing up a bit even when just doing chores around the house, but I also sometimes opt to wear just jeans and t-shirts with flats even when I am all alone in my house and could wear something else. In some ways, I think of it as an evolution to thinking more like a woman than as a trans-woman.
It's sort of funny. Over the years, I've developed a reputation (as a man) as someone who doesn't like to get dressed up. I only put on jacket and tie if I absolutely have to. The thing is, it wasn't about getting fancied up. It was the overt maleness of the jacket and tie and the big clunky male dress shoes. As a woman (at least in my mind if not in practice yet), I'd be perfectly happy to have occasion to wear nicer dresses and heels, though as I said, I'm also happy in jeans and flats these days. I wonder if this growing comfort and knowledge of who I really am makes it more or less likely that I will be able to transition successfully. Will there be less of a change from my current life than I expect? Is that good or bad?