Showing posts with label gaming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gaming. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Who else plays games to "be" female?

Sort of following up on my "Avatars" post a week or so ago, I was thinking about how many games I specifically buy because it allows me to play as a female, and how many I decide not to buy specifically because they don't. Obviously, most role-playing games (ones I've recently played are Mass Effect and Dragon Age) do let you choose the gender of your character.  Outside of that genre though, I still favor games in which I can lose myself as a girl.  Maybe that's one of the reasons I didn't like Halo as much as some other shooters.  Similarly, while I didn't really get into the Grand Theft Auto series, I got Saint's Row 2, which is a similar sandbox shooter, but with a main character that could not only be female but potentially sort of trans!

Anyway, what got me thinking about this is that there are rumors of the old Wing Commander games being re-released.  These space-flight combat simulator games were easily my favorite games when I started graduate school back in the early 90s.  Between this and X-Wing vs Tie Fighter, this was definitely the heyday of space combat.  As a sci-fi geek, I do wish they would make a comeback.  Anyway, the protagonist/player-character of Wing Commander was hard-coded as male.  However, there was a female comrade-in-arms that you would fly missions with, callsign "Angel", and very soon I just sort of mentally transferred the focus of the story to her.  Sounds weird, I know, but I lose myself in games (or movies) pretty easily - I guess I have high empathy - so sort of like a spirit moving from person to person, when I thought about the game outside of actually playing it (i.e. imagining missions, etc... yes just like a little kid :-) the missions would be ones flown by Angel.

Hmm, this is a really horrendous rambling post, isn't it?  I apologize.  And now I'm feeling like playing hooky from my work for a little bit to go do some gaming!  Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I also use female-vocalist songs in Guitar Hero to work on my feminine voice.

p.s. in case you've seen the not-exactly-classic Wing Commander movie based on the game, Mr. Buffy (Freddie Prinze Jr) plays the main character, and Saffron Burrows (recently on Law and Order: Criminal Intent, and The Bank Job) as Angel.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Avatars (not the movie)

cc-licensed from flickr user Iscan
I played World of Warcraft fairly heavily for a couple of years, and while I had a few different characters of various races and genders, I eventually settled in on a female character.  At this time, I prefer not to reveal myself in that venue, so let's just call her "Amy".  I know, it's not a creative WoW-type name, but it'll do for this purpose.  One of the interesting things about playing Amy was that I became invested not just in my in-game character, but as my in-game player persona.  People would assume that I was female, perhaps because my chat style seemed feminine?  I don't know - I generally avoided directly stating my gender, in part because since this "life" in WoW was all mental and not physical anyway, I truly felt that I was a female playing the game, no matter the sex of my avatar.  But back to the perception of me as female - I found both male and female players who had no prior suggestion of my genetic sex, but who over a period of time when chats became less exclusively game-oriented and would touch on each others' real lives, I could see their perception of my change from a default of male or not really thinking about it, to talking to me as a female.  How is it different?  I'm not sure I can explain it.  More general chit-chat from the other female players, an ease in the conversation.  From guy players, a bit more playfulness, maybe some lightly joking flirting despite knowing that I am married IRL (in real life).  Even though I'm attracted only to gals, I have to say it was sort of sweet to be flirted with. I guess the desire to be liked, even in pretend, is universal.

So, how does one "type" femininely?  What was I doing that labeled me as female?  As I was pondering this, I set up an experiment and played one of my male characters for a while.  The same pattern emerged.  At first, people assumed that I was male or didn't explicitly make assumptions at all, but soon, as my male character's friends started chatting with me about random stuff and not just the game, they clearly began to make assumptions that I was female.  As a still-in-the-closet transsexual, I can't even begin to describe how wonderful that feels.  I mean, all I have ever wanted was to be accepted and assumed to be just a plain old ordinary girl.  When I stopped playing WoW, the strongest feeling of loss wasn't the fun of adventuring, it was no longer having a world to visit in which people saw me for who I am mentally, unbiased by how my body looks.  I still don't know what made my chatting seem feminine, but I like to think of it as confirmation that in every way but my stupid body, I am woman.  See me type, "roar!"   :-)